it's FINALLY out.
or, happy web series week to all who celebrate and happy belated year in review as well.
I’ll say to you what the doctors said to my mother when she woke up after they botched my c-section and had to put her under general: it’s finally out, and you can see it whenever you want.
New episodes come out Fridays!
A lot of my year went into this web series, and I’m sure I’ll write more about it later on, but since it’s February and I still have not done a year in review I do think I have more urgent things to write about right now. I meant to publish this newsletter the first week of January, but then my train got cancelled and I dropped my computer and got the flu and a billion other things and so I’m publishing it now.
New Years’ is my favorite holiday — I love fireworks, I love sparkling apple cider, I love a time to reflect on the year behind you and the hope for the year ahead. I love looking at what I’ve accomplished. I love determining what it is I really want. I love thinking back to the person I was last December and thinking of all the surprises she had in store. It’s the same reason I love birthdays, firsts of the month, new seasons. I love taking stock. I love reflecting. I love a fresh start.
To me, the reflection element is important because I find myself getting lost when I don’t know or understand the goal of something. I usually take some time each month to check in on my resos, see how I’ve progressed, see what I can work on in the coming month, and determine if my goal is still something I really want. It’s my way of making sure I don’t end up coasting. It’s my way of making sure I’m putting effort into becoming myself and making my life feel meaningful. How much I want to grow and the effort I put into that growth is earnestly one of my favorite things about myself.
My resolutions are not always measurable; they’re more just like values that guide me through the year. At my monthly check in, I tweak some, trim others, decide other ones don’t feel as important. This is all fine and good. I am intense about making the goals, but I try to be patient with myself in the process of achieving them.
In 2024, my overarching new year’s resolution was to try more new things. This goal had nine categories and at least five subgoals per category. I kept track of most of the new things that I did using a Google Form and used Goodreads for books.
In 2024, I…
…tried 42 new foods!
Some highlights: pierogi, gochujang buttered noodles, spiced chickpea stew with coconut and turmeric, homemade croutons, yuzu soda, pistachio shortbread, cauliflower wings.
Some lowlights: foie gras :(, pickled radish.
What did we learn: I avoid foods, especially new foods or unknown textures, and that’s one thing I’m working on. This year made me feel more confident that there are new foods out there to look forward to eating, and that my tastes can and will grow and change as I do.
…read 26 books!
Highlights:
I Hope This Finds You Well by Natalie Sue (loooooooved this book, thought it was so funny)
We Play Ourselves by Jen Silverman (made me feel hopeful about my own future as a creator and artist and whatever the fuck I am or will be)
Intermezzo by Sally Rooney (sorry to be basic, but I did cry)
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel (especially when it feels like the end of times I think hopeful dystopian fiction is so important)
All This Could Be Different by Sarah Thankam Mathews (wanted to reread immediately upon finishing)
Learned: I can tell pretty soon into a book if I’ll be able to get into it or not. I read best on the subway, and if a book doesn’t make me excited about my subway ride it probably isn’t worth reading. Some books are better as premises.
…tried 17 new TV shows!
Highlights:
Love is Blind (foundation for LOTS of discussion, which I think is part of the value of reality television)
Superstore
Hacks, S3
Love Island USA, S6 (I was GAGGED.)
Learned: I have reeeeeeeeeeeeally enjoyed the community aspect of TV this year — lots of viral content, stuff that other people are talking about. It’s nice to be a part of the conversation. I like to think of myself as someone who’s only into TV as high art, but this year (like every other year) proved me wrong and I loved it.
…listened to 22 podcasts!
Highlights: Welcome to Our Show/The Mess Around, Maintenance Phase, So True with Caleb Hearon, Normal Gossip, You’re Wrong About, Blocks with Neal Brennan (sorry).
I didn’t have a ton of lowlights here! Podcasts are easy to just….turn off if you don’t like them. So I did a lot of that. But I loved all of the above ones, especially Blocks, which is where Neal Brennan interviews performers about things that they feel like are wrong with them (Brennan used to write for Chappelle but I think they parted ways before Chappelle got transphobic with it). It made me feel less fucked up, and made me realize, for the millionth time, that everyone has their own unique cocktail of unfixable issues. Who knew.
…made 25 physical items!
Some excerpts:
I also made lots of bags, which is part of why one of my new year’s resos this year is to not acquire any more reusable bags (hmu if you need any i have a kajillion).
…attended or worked on 26 performances!
I performed less than I’d hoped, but still more than none. I am proud of the number of shows I saw this year, which I feel like has steadily increased since I started dating my beautiful and smart girlfriend who loves theater. Some standouts from this year for me:
Public Obscenities at Theater for a New Audience
The Effect at The Shed
Merrily We Roll Along at the Hudson Theater
Stereophonic at the Golden Theater
Eleven Weeks of Nuclear Summer at Columbia
Walden at the Tony Kiser Theater
You Heard It Here First at 54 Below
I had a lot of fun seeing shows that made me acknowledge my own fear about the future and push beyond it until I got somewhere better. I had even more fun supporting friends at their shows and seeing the incredible things that they can do. And if your story centers around a flawed group of people in a crumbling world deciding to hope, in spite of it all? Yeah. I’ll be there. I’ll also be crying a little bit and I won’t admit to it.
In 2025, I am:
Seeing more shows with people. Seeing my brother and sister-in-law more. Not acquiring any more reusable bags. Limiting my Amazon purchases to things I literally cannot purchase anywhere else (like ocular saline for my dumb massive contacts). Switching to Storygraph for keeping track of books, and making a Letterboxd to keep track of what movies I’ve watched. Taking better advantage of nice weather to make plans and see people.
It is hard to feel optimistic about much these days, but I feel optimistic about making and learning about myself in 2025. I just found out I really like corn, so that’s already really cool. Here’s to more in the coming year.